Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I cannot find my penis.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
