Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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