Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
