very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
