He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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