my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize