Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
