Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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