He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I love you. Go after that dick
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
