i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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