And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
