I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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