Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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