WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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