I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
