youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
