Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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