dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize