Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
These tits shall not be calmed
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
