Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
