You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
he fucked my hip out of place.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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