meet me or not, i'm out of control
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
