do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
