enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
