I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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