Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
