My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
