I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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