u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
