Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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