the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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