i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
