Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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