You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
