So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
