Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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