Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
