You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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