Those balls look pretty dangerous.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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