We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
where does the pee come out of this thing
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
