ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
