They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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