just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i came on her dog
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
