I'm lost and stupid without you.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
