its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
