operation have a gay friend backfired
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize