In the future we'll all be gay
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
