Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
