I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
