pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
