Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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