my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
