So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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