Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
