Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
True but thats because hes a fetus.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
