Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
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