So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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