I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
