Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
