dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
