so that wasnt chicken after all
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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