Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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