Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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