apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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