um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
