I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
