So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
