Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize