Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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