After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
