can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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