I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I didn't notice because vodka
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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