I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
