After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize