I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
