another moral hangover. fuck.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
