Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Screwed.edu
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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