: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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