Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize