Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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