this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
